The evening was magnificent with corrugated pink sky but yet the darkness in her heart blinds out every beauty of the earth.
Sometimes flesh seems to be strong but the spirit is just weak, and is about to crumble into pieces at any point of time.Many times, the question of my purpose in life just struck my mind, and my faith slowly faint. I feel ashamed of this life that I am leading, the life that was planned with a purpose but yet I seem to be avoiding. It is only in the weakest moment that I turn to God and that isnt something I should be doing, I know it very clearly but still, I really don't know what exactly am I doing.
I know, I should be the light, to my family, my friends and the people around me but many times I just keep moving away from the truth. My family needs salvation, and the increase of faith. Looking at how my brother react to the stressful intern-worklife, I searched deeper into my heart and somehow realised the problem lies with me, for not being influencial enough, for not being a good christian or even setting a good example.
" If I really cant take it, I will jump off the building."
These words came out of my brother's mouth as I lay awake on bed. I'm serious, tears flow down my cheeks. I have never seen him so weak before.
God, have your way in him, and in the family. Let him trust in you and let your peace fill his soul. Amen.
&still trying to find a happy ending
